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Cassandra in greek mythology was given the gift of phrophesy by Apollo but when she rejected his advances he cursed her by making sure no one would believe her. How it relates to us is that often no-one believes what really goes on in the marriage. Aspergers can be a really well hidden problem between people. Something other family and friends never see. Not being heard. Being blamed yourself. Being told he is just behaving like a man. Let down by professionals. Feelings of guilt. Loss of self. Mental health problems. Physical health problems.

Anger turned to depression. Phobias - agoraphobia - flying - social. Reflecting Asperger ways. Loss or gain in weight. ME myalgic encephalomyelitis. Low immune system - colds to cancer. It can be a pretty devistating epiphany when you realise you have this syndrome, also a powerless one.

I have just about every symptom listed and so I have a lot of work to do to get myself together again. I can't afford to see a psychologist to help me and the support group is 2 hours drive away, so I'm relying on my own mechanisms to help me. We'll see how we go shall we? You have described how i feel from: anonymous date: Sep. It is so hard to stay in this place.

Complex Cases: Aspie- NT Marriage: Cassandra Phenomenon

So guilty about wanting to end a marriage with children involved, but wondering how I can possibly survive. There is no abuse. He is loyal , a good father and so many other good things. But I live in an emotional vaccum. I am so deeply lonely in my marriage than in any other place in my life.

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This is where I should feel at home. But I feel at home at work, with my friends and with my family but not with him Shouldn't this be the place that I feel myself. It is bizarre that in order to make my marriage work that I must get everything outside it. I wonder whether I crave intimacy more than the average person simply because there is little hope of ever achieving it here. The problem with intimacy is that I can cheat myself into believing I can do with out it.

But when least expecting it something reminds me of the need and I am overwelmed with longing that I feel I may drown in my lonliness.

I have spent many long months schooling myself to be less needy around him, sharing less and less of myself. I am disengaged emotionally from him. But now when it comes to being intimate with him there is nothing in me to give him. To give of yourself when you are empty is giving away a part of yourself. There seems so little left of me to give. I'm just discovering the Cassandra Phenomenon and I have recognized my last thirty years, every fear, every grief, my late anger Until now, I can't recognized myself, I was thinking what happen with me?

Maybe it's all about I'm in my fifties now? If I am not like this, it's me? I need a way to be myself again. Only a few days ago a very loved friend of mine told me about Asperger and the possibility my husband was AS. Since then I'm reading all about this matter and today I've found that I'm Cassandra too. I know that it no makes the difference because my partner couldn't accept his condition, he consider he's fine, we are the differents ones , it's the other people who are wrong.

So I don't have any hope of healing neather for me nor for him. Sorry my poor English, too many years without practicing. Re: You have described how i feel - Anonymous - Expand.

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RE: You have described how i feel - Anonymous - Expand. Between a rock and a hard spot - Anonymous - Expand. I kept reading the words an you are right, I find I too am having trouble moving away from the man behind the glass. Cassandra phenomenon from: anonymous date: Oct.

Thanks thanking thanku. Re: Cassandra phenomenon from: anonymous date: Dec. Thank you. I cried when I realised it wasn't just me from: anonymous date: Dec. I have bent over backwards And that is perfectly normal!

Coral reef environmental science: truth versus the Cassandra syndrome

People don't see it because it will always be your word against theirs. Aspies become very adept at masking the real issues with polite banter, calm demeanors and being generally sociable. That's all the professionals see. We learn in counseling that our diagnoses must be heavily based on "presenting behaviours" this is part of the problem. But if we start making assumptions on what we think is behind or what someone else says is behind the mask, we run the risk of doing more harm than good.

Gods I wish I had an answer for it but the only answer I can come up with is prolonged exposure of the Aspie to the professional.

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Because its harder and harder for them to wear the mask the more comfortable with someone they get. Its slips off bit by bit, exposing their true motivations, intentions and behaviours. A long process unfortunately, I know. On my second Aspy husband - oops! After divorcing the first one 22 years earlier, I married another one.